BE A SELFISH ACTOR

“Selfish” – concerned exclusively with oneself:  concentrating on one's own personal pleasure without regard for others

Our whole lives we are told that it’s wrong to be “selfish”.

And in many situations that is true.

It was good of us when we shared our school lunch with a hungry friend, or raked the lawn of the old lady across the street…

However, what I want to share with you is that there is great advantage to being a “selfish actor”.

Please don’t get me wrong.

I don’t mean the kind of selfishness that affects other people negatively.

Like, for instance, when an actor will stand slightly upstage of his scene partner, so the scene partner is forced to turn his back to the audience, or the kind of actor that will steal focus during someone else’s moment.

(I heard a rumor that a famous actress used to carry a scarf as a prop in a play, and, when others would talk, she would wave the scarf around to draw the audience’s eye back to her. If that’s true, “BAD Famous Actress, BAD!”)

No, not like that.

I’m talking about the good kind of “selfish” actor who is only interested in his own journey through a scene, and not in how the audience perceives him.

This is the kind of self-absorbed behavior that children engage in when they play “pretend”; there is zero concern in pleasing an audience.

Why, as adults, don’t we approach our “playing” of roles the same way?

During an actor’s training he seems to get the message that acting should not be selfish.

After all, he does scenes FOR his acting coach. He is taught to please his teacher. And after the scene, he eagerly awaits his teacher’s feedback, hoping that that he has pleased her.

This is a needed step in an artist’s life, but, upon graduation, the actor must let go of this way of looking at things.

That “need to please” does not, in any way, serve the adult artist.

The “selfish actor” understands that he cannot please an audience by trying to please them.

He understands that an audience’s experience can only be his experience. Therefore if the actor, by being selfish, has a rich and powerful experience onstage, then so will the audience while watching.

It’s so sad for me to think of all the actors who are trapped in the illusion that their feelings are unimportant, and all that matters is what the audience thinks. Some actors go their whole lives approaching their work this way, and they wonder why they have lost their love of the craft.

I will never forget the first time I saw what I would term a truly “selfish actor” in the positive sense.

I studied at a conservatory program, and at the end of my four years we went to New York to perform scenes for agents and casting directors. It was, for us, like a high-pressured “cotillion” for actors.

Anyway, we spent months beforehand choosing our scenes and just as long on choosing our outfits. We wracked our brains trying to figure out what would impress the powers-that-be in New York City.

Other schools were performing there as well, and we watched their scenes with a mixture of curiosity, and competitiveness.

It just so happens that Parker Posey was graduating the same year as me, from a different school.

When she appeared onstage in her scene it truly was a revelation!

Her outfit was “casual” at best (I don’t think she even wore shoes…gasp!), but if she’d been in high heels and a gown we would’ve had the same reaction, because it was her energy that surprised us all.

The audience drew in their collective breath. We were mesmerized. It was so different. She wasn’t trying to impress. She was just uniquely being herself. This was an actress who honestly didn’t give a shit as to how she was perceived. She was wholly involved in her experience in the scene. She felt it, so we the audience felt it as well.

At that moment, I knew I was watching someone approach acting differently than I had been, but I had no idea how she was doing it!

It’s understandably difficult for young actors to achieve a selfish mind-space.

We are, after all, trained from infancy to seek approval.

And seeking approval is the very foundation of schooling; striving to impress teacher and to “get it right”.

It starts in elementary school, with reading, writing and arithmetic. Then, in college, we’re graded on our scene work.

But it is the actor’s job to let this go upon graduation. It is your duty to yourself!

The “selfish actor” is magnetic:

Who books the greatest number of acting jobs?

The actor who is the most “magnetic”.

We’ve all heard that expression.

People gush, “Oh, he was marvelous, absolutely magnetic!”, or, “She was so magnetic, I couldn’t take my eyes off her!”

Well, what does that mean?

It means having the properties of a magnet, which attracts things. A magnet pulls things in; it draws them closer.

Can you pull something in when your energy is going outward?

Put your arms out in front of you. Wiggle your fingers as if you’re feeling things; you’re checking things out. You’re thinking-

“Am I good? Is this okay? Are you enjoying this? How are you responding to me???”

…Is this magnetic?

No.

This energy makes people lean back, away from you.

However, when you are only interested in your own experience (“selfish”), with no attention to how others perceive you, then you create a void, an empty space, between you and the observer.

The space that might’ve been filled with a needy energy is now empty.

The audience finds themselves leaning in to fill that space.

They are attracted to the performance, like a magnet, and therefore wish to focus on it more closely. They cannot take their eyes away.

I want your audition to be “creepy real” at times.

The casting person should be taken by surprise and think, “Oh, he’s acting now! I thought he was just talking to me!”

It should feel to the casting person that they are pulling back a curtain and peering from behind it at something they’re not supposed to be watching.

The Law of Attraction:

One of the laws of attraction is to “feel and behave as if the object of one's desire is already acquired.”

There have been many books written on the laws of attraction.

Scholars, gurus and scientists alike have tried to unlock the secret to getting what you want from the universe.

But let’s keep it simple and not get into all that complicated mumbo-jumbo.

After all, I believe you’ve known the secret all along; just so long as you’ve been in a high school cafeteria!

Have you ever heard the phrase “All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten”?

Well, I’d say it’s more like “seventh or eighth grade”!

The laws governing attraction in high school still apply to the world of grown ups.

It’s as simple as this:

1. Everyone wants to sit at the lunch table of the “cool” kid who doesn’t care if they sit there.

2. No one wants to sit next to the needy kid in braces who is desperately patting the seat beside him!

The second kid needs you to like him.

The first either already knows that you do, or doesn’t give a shit either way!

Subsequently, there’s two ways you can approach an audition. Like the “cool kid” or the “needy kid”.

Sadly, most actors approach an audition like the “needy kid” who is desperate for friends.

They worry and fret that they aren’t “good” enough or prepared enough, so they stay up late the night before; over-preparing, picking outfits, reading and memorizing entire scripts and basically doing work that is joyless and unneeded.

Being a “good little boy” is not a very attractive energy to have.

The “cool kid”, on the other hand, doesn’t need anything from you. It’s not that he’s cruel; he’s just self-sufficient.

The actors who approach their auditions in this way know that they are not there to get that job, but to have a good relationship with the casting director.

The “cool kid” actor does only the amount of work that he feels is necessary to have an audition that he will enjoy.

Think about it; do you really want to come off as an actor who had all the time in the world to prepare his audition?

Actors strive to create the perfect audition, which is in fact not very attractive. There is an air of desperation in the room when an actor has over-prepared in a panicky, controlling way.

And the people watching still react to that desperation just like the kids in the cafeteria.

Wouldn’t you rather come off as someone who has a full life; joyfully busy with working on their structure as an artist?

Perhaps you were too busy working on some independent film to memorize the entire script word-for-word.

Or maybe your hands were so full rehearsing a play with the theater group you helped to create, that you weren’t able to scour the mall and buy the exact jacket that is mentioned in the script.

You don’t really have to be in some independent film; just act as if you are.

You don’t have to really be the “cool kid”.

…Just behave as though you are.

It’s alright to “want” the job, but-

Relax.

Be joyful.

And behave as though you already have everything you “need”.

Once you have released your “need to please”, you will be a “selfish actor”!

In summation:

There’s nothing wrong with being wrapped up in your own experience when you are acting.

You are doing the audience a favor when you approach your acting this way. You will be giving them a deeper and richer more powerful performance.

Let’s all be “selfish actors”!

Your experience will be richer, and thus the audience’s experience will be richer as well.

“A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament. Its beauty comes from the fact that the author is what he is. It has nothing to do with the fact that other people want what they want. Indeed, the moment that an artist takes notice of what other people want, and tries to supply the demand, he ceases to be an artist, and becomes a dull or an amusing craftsman, an honest or a dishonest tradesman.”

- Oscar Wilde